These Are The Days

Smart ~ Writer ~ Mom

Month: October 2012

8 Years Old

I’ve worked my whole adult life, but I took a year and a half off when my oldest daughter was born in 2004. And now, I’m lucky to be home caring for our 18 month old daughter.

So days at the park are a fact of life for me. And really, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

My baby loves to run and be free to climb and slide and explore.

But it’s different for my 8 year old. She’s at the perfect age to play at the park. That sweet time before adolescence but long after the toddler years have ended. She can do everything at the park and it makes me smile to see her utter enjoyment as she runs from the monkey bars, which she conquered earlier this fall, to the swings, soaring higher and higher every time.

It’s a joy to watch both girls play at the park. But I’m savoring the moments with my older daughter more and more. Knowing that soon she’ll be too big to go to the park. And worse, she won’t want to go to the park.

Winter will be here soon so for now it’s watching squirrels race up and down trees collecting nuts. Stomping through the dry, crunchy leaves, and wearing an extra layer of clothing as the fall brings about a chill.

I love the park. And, thankfully, so do my girls.

So Lucky

Twenty-four years ago this month, I became a birthmother. I was 18 and terrified. But it’s been an amazing journey. 

I’m a huge advocate for open adoption because I believe that with the right emotional support, all parties involved (birthparents, adoptive parents, adoptees) can have a very healthy and fulfilled life.

For me, these last two decades have been filled with so many different emotions. Sometimes I feel like the poster child for open adoption because my experience with my son, his parents, and our extended families has been overwhelmingly positive. I really do consider myself lucky. But while the outward appearances of my open adoption story are joyful and happy, it has been a rough personal struggle for me these last two decades. Most of it was suffered in silence.

Finaly, I feel ready to share pieces of my story, my struggle and what life is like on the other side of grief and shame.  But I’ll save that for another day.

Today, I’m just grateful that I have three beautiful, talented and amazing children – my 8 year old and 18 month old girls and my 24 year old son.

Life is good.

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