These Are The Days

Smart ~ Writer ~ Mom

Month: September 2013 (page 1 of 2)

A New Opportunity

I am thrilled to be a contributing writer/blogger for “Open Adoption Bloggers (OAB)”. My column runs once per month – and my first one ran today! It’s mostly an introduction, a bit of my story and a sort of fuzzy vision of what I hope to accomplish with this valuable space.

Also, I’m scared to death to be this open and “out there” with my story!

This blog is really my personal writing space – and some of it involves my experiences as a birthmom.

My writing for OAB will focus exclusively on my experiences as a birthmom in an open adoption. Maybe you’ll follow me there, too?

In the meantime, I’m trying to channel my inner Sara Bareilles.

Louis CK on the Power of Sitting and Other Fascinating News on the Web

Right on the money. Also, I’m guilty as hell for keeping my phone always at less than an arm’s length away. I need to stop this – because my daughter’s are watching.

Pretty Sure Burger King Hates Me

The sarcastic tone coming out of the drive-thru speaker was unmistakable.

I had just ordered a bag of sliced apples for my two year old and a medium diet coke for myself. We had just finished a great morning at our local YMCA. She had her first swim class by herself without me having to sausage myself into a bathing suit and crawl into the over-chlorined pool. And after swim class, she joyfully ran to the kids play area while I enjoyed a three mile run in an effort to shed some of the aforementioned “sausage”.

We left and both of us were kinda hungry.

I love hate fast food…especially the super-delicious incredibly bad-for-you french fries. So unless we’re on a road trip, my rule is: just a diet coke and a bag of apples. That’s it. It’s enough to quench our thirst/hunger temporarily until we get home.

The woman took my order. And then I heard her reply…laced with a strong hint of disgust.

JUST a bag of apples and a coke? You don’t want anything else?”

Um, nope.

“Fine. $3.78. Drive around.”

And then she smirked at me at the window.

What the?

You know what, Burger King? You offer a drive thru window so people can order WHATEVER THEY PLEASE conveniently and then go on with their day. If you have a problem with that, then maybe you should set parameters at your window. Minimums, if you will. Something along the lines of, “Five dollar minimum…” or “Must order a meal…” or “Can’t just order a drink…”

Either way, I’m pretty certain the four dollars it cost me for a drink and some fruit is equivalent to the four dollars you’d be pocketing had I ordered a small french fry and a burger.

Just trying to have it my way, oh king of burgers.

Life Lessons

Today, my 9 year old daughter and I had some rare one on one time while my little one napped and my husband attended a football game. She wanted to play a board game, and I was happy to oblige. Nothing says good old-fashioned fun like a board game. Plus, it’s sometimes hard for both of us to put away electronics for any length of time, so I was proud of her for suggesting it.

She chose “Life” – one of my favorite games from childhood. I remember playing it nearly everyday in the summer between 6th and 7th grade with my two good friends from elementary school. Seventh grade would be the beginning of middle school, or junior high, for us. We remained friends but went our separate ways in seventh grade, so looking back, this is such a nice memory to recall.


We set up the game on our dining room table and chose our cars. White for her, red for me. We put our little pink pegs in the driver’s seat and we were off.

My husband and I introduced her to this game when she was 7, thinking it would be fun for her. What we didn’t realize was how many questions and opportunities for dialogue it would spark. Should she choose college or jump right into a career? And how would each decision impact her financial situation? Does she need home or auto insurance? (she chose no for home insurance, and luckily evaded the board tiles reading “Flood! Pay $20,000 in damages unless you have home insurance.”)

The questions she asked were good and thoughtful. We discussed responsibility, consequences, second chances and my favorite – how costly having children can be. She was blown away by how much she had to pay for her twin girls 🙂

She ended up winning the game, with far more money and Life tiles than I had accumulated.

I can only hope that we give her the tools she’ll need to succeed at the real game of Life, too.

Open Adoption Roundtable #50

The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of writing prompts around the topic of open adoption. It’s sponsored by Open Adoption Bloggers and is a great way to get some different perspectives from all sides of the adoption prism. This roundtable topic is:


Two thoughts came to me when I read this prompt. The first was a story that my son’s mother told me about when he was about to enter kindergarten. He’s now 25, so this was around 1993-94. He was preparing to attend a local Catholic school and was visiting with one of the nuns on the school playground. His mom was out of sight, but within earshot. No doubt she was smiling as she watched her son (our son) – who has always had a certain maturity about him – hold his own during this very important meeting.

As they walked and played, the Sister asked him his favorite colors, his favorite toys and about his family.

Then she said, “Tell me what’s special about you?” My son’s mother told me that he thought about it for a second and then smiled a huge smile and replied, “I’m adopted!” He was happy and proud and this was his ‘normal’, thanks to the openness his mom and dad encouraged and practiced.  This story always makes me smile.

The second thought I had when reading this prompt was about my fourth grade daughter. She knows about her brother and she knows his adoption story. She loves her brother immensely and although we don’t see him as often as we’d all like, we are in touch often. Every year it seems she has some school project about a family tree where she needs to list her immediate family members. Without my prompting, it makes my heart happy to know that she’s always included her brother. Always.

Here’s a project she had to do in second grade…her brother and sister are on the main part of her tree.

Family Tree

Family Tree

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