These Are The Days

Smart ~ Writer ~ Mom

Freedom

At my reunion last night, I felt something I’d never felt before at these kinds of things. I felt relaxed.

You know that pressure you feel when you get around high school classmates? You want to look flawless, sound intelligent, appear (somewhat) successful. The charades we all create are meant to hide who we really are because somehow we don’t feel worthy. We don’t feel as though we’re enough.

Last night I realized all my secrets have been revealed. There is no longer a need to pretend. No longer a need to be anything other than who I am. It was very liberating.

In the last few years or so, I’ve become braver. A truth-teller rather than a “don’t rock the boat” kind of person. I’m more in touch with my emotions and feelings. And I’m way more inclined to assert my convictions or stand up for myself than I ever was in the past.

Is this because I’m 43 and I don’t give a shit what people think of me? Maybe. The point is, we all have baggage from high school or college or our twenties that – if we don’t deal with it-  will consume us. And make us try too hard to make others like us or approve of us.

Last night was loads of fun. I was finally able to relax and just enjoy. And you know what I call that? Freedom.

8 Comments

  1. Wait until you reach 73, you really don’t give a shit at that stage. that may be why there are so many grumpy old men. We are not really grumpy we just don;t give a shit.

  2. Congrats on #30 – and it was a good one – went thru that myself – feels good, doesn’t it!
    (and p.s. you win) 😉

  3. Hey Kim, nice post. It’s so interesting to see how our thinking changes as we get older. I haven’t gone to any of my reunions, but if I do I definitely want to go happy in my own skin.

    BTW, I nominated you for a Versatile Blogger Award. You read about it at http://versatilebloggeraward.wordpress.com/

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